Chapter Ten [Jasper Extra #1]

Jasper's POV

Yesterday had been terrible. Heidi coming to say she was here to help us was a blessing, pure and simple. And as soon as she walked into Charlie's room giving us the news of what Malice and Assward were planning to do, I knew I had to do something. I had thought about it the entire way home, most of the night while I was kept awake by the beautiful girl that was laying beside me and while Esme helped Bella and I pick out new items for our bedroom in the Cullen house. I wanted to be changed back. If it meant I could go up against Alice and Edward and have a fair advantage and I could save the girl I loved, then I wouldn't think twice about asking Heidi to bite down on my neck.

Bella had me promise her this morning that I would do anything stupid. I didn't think being changed again was stupid, it could save us all.

“After this is all over Bella, I wanna take you to my house, my real house the one I was born and raised in. I visited it the day after I moved back to Texas with Em and Rose. Sure the place is a mess now but...” that was when I noticed she wasn't even listening to me.

Her eyes were unfocused and her features were twisted with uncertainty and worry. I hated that I couldn't feel anybodies emotions now that I'm human again, but I was pretty good at reading a persons expressions and body language. Bella had me worried just by the far off look in her eyes.

I shook her shoulder lightly to pull her out of whatever spaced out day dream she was in but no such luck. I kept trying to shake her out of this stupor like state but nothing was working. After all of fifteen minutes of trying to get her to respond to me, I panicked.

“Darlin'... Bella!”

“Huh?” She finally mumbled while shaking her head as if to clear it.

“Where did you go there?” I asked. “I was talking to you for fifteen minutes until I realized you hadn't moved an inch. What's wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong, I was just thinking.” She shook her head once more before looking at our surroundings.

“About what?” I prodded.

“Why are we completely redoing a quest room for us? I mean, we will be going back to our own homes once this is over, right?”

“Well, of course we will be going home darlin'. This is just Esme's way of taking her mind off of things. She wants us to feel comfortable, yes. She wants us to know that we have a place here anytime we wish. But, she is also trying to ignore the fact that her first son and second youngest daughter are not only alive but out to take away and/or possibly kill their youngest daughter. Edward and Alice were both such gentle creatures when I first came to the Cullens. You would never think that they could do something like this.” The way she asked her question confused me. I knew we would be going home but, did that mean she didn't want what we had?

I was trying to promise her that everything was going to be fine after this mess was fixed. Mumbling over and over again, I promised to keep her safe and I wanted nothing more than to just tell her that I loved her right then but just by looking into her eyes I knew she still held a deep hurt in her heart from the heartbreak she has had to deal with. After a few moments of my ramblings she placed her soft lips against mine, silencing me.

Mumbling against my lips, she spoke. “Please, help me take my mind off of this. I don't want to think about everything going on. I only want to think about..” Her voice was watery and desprate.

“Bella...” I sighed. “I don't want to do this as a reaction to our psychopathic ex's.”

She pulled away enough to look at me. “Jasper, I need this. To feel us. To just be us. It has nothing to do with them, this is about us.” She gave a small pause. “I love you, Jasper. I know I'm saying this soon but I have to tell you. Please, just let me show you how much.”

I didn't know what to say. I pressed my lips together not wanting to just blurt out my feelings and make her think I'm only reacting to her saying so. Nodding I started to speak. “Bella I ...”

Her tiny fingers pressed tightly to my lips. “You don't have to say anything back, Jasper. I just wanted you to know where I stand in our relationship. Now let me show you my love for you.” She whispered.

I loved to kiss this women. She was perfect in every way possible.

She exploded my clothed upper body with trembling hands. My muscles were clenching and unclenching in her wake. My entire body was on fire. I could feel not only my arousal for her growing but the love in my chest was building with every passing moment. When her tiny hands went up my shirt, I began to panic. I didn't want her to feel them, they were disgusting reminders of the monster I was in the past. Her trembling hands touched the deformed area of my shoulders were the thousands of bite marks covered my skin.

She had gone completely still with her hands still on my raised skin so I pulled away from her, expecting to see disgust in her features. Or pity at least.

“What's wrong?”

“My scars.” I whispered, still holding down on the inside of my cheek with my teeth .

She grabbed my face and made me look her in the eye. “I don't care about scars Jasper. I don't care about any type of flaw because every flaw just makes you who you are.” I scoffed at this and in return she narrowed her eyes at me. “I'll show you mine if you show me yours.”

I thought about her offer for a minute. I guess I could if she was willingly going to point out the imperfections of her own body to me. Eye for an eye type of deal. Though nothing she showed me, I can assure you, would make me feel any less attracted or love her any less. Pulling my cotton shirt over my head, I dropped it over the edge of the bed and looked off towards the wall, not wanting to see her reaction once she actually saw the scars.

What I didn't expect to happen from her, happened. She rubbed my shoulders, neck and upper back with her small hands. And what surprised me the most was when I felt her shift on the bed and start to kiss the areas of scarred skin on my chest and neck. It made me feel like I was just a normal person. Alice had always made me keep my shirt on no matter what. She had said once that it made her fear me but I never once felt the fear she spoke of but the disgust was very clear in the few times I had ventured to go without a shirt.

When Bella placed multiple kisses over my heart, I could help but to whisper her name. Ever so slowly she pulled away from me and I looked down at her to see what she was doing. She repeated my actions and pulled her oversized shirt over her head and dropped it with my discarded one. My eyes were wide as I drank in her body. She was perfect.

I slowly ran my finger tips up her abdomen, ghostly over the curves of her delicious breasts that were neither too big nor too small for her body's size. Lightly I let my fingers trail down the lengths of her silky smooth arms. “Beautiful.” I whispered with a swallow, trying to get the thickness out of my voice.

Pointing to the long scar on her lower right half of her stomach she whispered, “Appendix. I was twelve.” Going up higher she traced the long thin line that ran just on the underside of my right breast. I let my eyes linger there longer than they should have. “Push into a fence last summer. It was the worst of the cuts.” I felt my hands ball into fists thinking about someone pushing this beautiful creature into anything. I was as she ran her fingers over the thin scar on her forehead. “Motorcycle accident the spring after Edward left.” I rose a brow at that, she didn't strike me as the type to go and jump on something that goes faster than 80 mph just for fun. I watched as she held her wrist up for me to see the very scar that that sadistic bastard gave her because I didn't keep my eyes on her at the damn airport that night. “You were they after this one. You saved me.”

“Edward saved you. I showed up after the epic battle of the pussies.” I said with a shake of my head.

She gave a breathy laugh before a serous expression graced her features. “But you were strong enough to kill James without losing who you are.”

“Bella...” I love you.

She shook her head. “Do my scars make me any less beautiful in your eyes?”

“You're perfect.”

“And so are you. I don't care about scars or physical looks. What matters to me is whats inside Jasper.” Her hand was no longer trembling when she placed it over my heart. “You're beautiful on the inside and out.”

I grabbed her face in my palms this time and gave her a kiss hoping to god that it was pushing every drop of love I had for her, into her at this moment. When we had to breath I pulled away only to whisper to her. “I love you, too.”

“Show me.” She growled in the sexiest voice I've ever heard and pulled me down on top of her before taking my lips to hers.