Chapter Eighteen

[Christmas Eve]

The months after everything had passed were amazing. Jasper and I returned to our homes in Texas last month. We stayed in Forks to have Thanksgiving holiday with our families. It was nice to have all of my family, the pack and the Cullens, together for the holiday. There were the snarky comments that were thrown around between myself, Rosalie and Melody. She might have been Jake's imprint and all but the comments she had made about me and the Cullen family didn't set well with anyone. The comment of how imperfect Rosalie was and how her hips were far too wide after having Gavin, was enough to make Rose want to claw her eyes out. But when she tried to say I was only around so I could bed Jake, pissed me off. Paul had to physically remove me from the house until Jake dragged her to his car and took her to her parent's house. Other than that little problem, our Thanksgiving Day was perfect.

I am so happy that day was great. I cant say the same for Christmas... which is tomorrow!

The past week Jasper has been acting completely strange. With the whispers between him and Peter, the random sneaking into bed at night at ungodly hours and the fact that his kisses make me feel like they are going to be his last ones to me; has me panicking. I knew that if Jasper didn't want to be with me anymore, then I would let him go. I love him enough not to force him into staying with me if he truly doesn't want to. But I also knew that my heart wouldn't be able to take it if he did leave me. I would honestly die from a broken heart.

Thankfully today I was kind of preoccupied by Esme, Rose, Char, Sue, Jasmine and my mother.

We were all staying at with Peter and Charlotte's for the next week. Renee and Phil flew in last night to join us for Christmas and they ran into Charlie, Sue, Leah and Seth at the airport. Charlie thought it would be a good idea to surprise us for the holiday to come and spend time with Jasper and I. With all of us women in the kitchen getting everything ready for dinner tomorrow and the guys out of the house doing god only knows what; my mind was silently trying to take a break from freaking out over Jasper's missing state lately.

I talked to the girls about it earlier this morning and they all told me not to worry and that everything would be fine. Renee told me I was being silly and Rose told me that I should just get back to stuffing the turkey with that icy edge to her voice; I swear one of these days, I am going to beat that women just 'cause.

After everything was prepared and the turkey was in the oven, all of us girls sat around the kitchen table and talked. I was quizzed by my mother about all the guys I was hiding from her during my college years and thanks to Jasmine, I think Renee now knows those guys names. I really didn't understand Renee's fascination about knowing my sex life and I honestly didn't want to ask her about it.

By the time the timer on the oven went off for me to get the turkey out, around nine o'clock, I heard the garage door open. I had just sat the turkey on the stove top when a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist. Leaning back into the warm body, I watched as a few of Jasper's blond curls fell into his face; from where he was bending his head down to kiss my shoulder. I closed my eyes and enjoyed his closeness.

“Hey darlin',” Jasper drawled into the exposed skin of my neck. “I missed you today.”

“I missed you too.” I stated, running one of my hands through his hair and gentle scratching his scalp. “Did you have fun with the guys?”

Jasper shook his head. “I guess, much rather would've liked to have been here with you though.”

“Well, be thankful you missed out of the gossiping old women. I swear our mothers are just horrible.”

With a deep rumbling chuckle, Jasper pulled away from me. “Peter said he needed me to do something when we got home, I'll be back down in a little bit.” he mumbled as he hurried out of the room.

I sighed as I went to open the roasting pan, using the ladle to scoop up the broth in the pan to pour over the top of the turkey. I heard foot steps coming closer to the kitchen and out of the corner of my eye, I swear Seth and Edward trying to quietly dig through one of the top cabinets. Setting the ladle back on the utensil dish, I turned and cleared my throat.

Both of them jumped and spun around to look at me with wide eyes. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

“Can I help you boys?” I asked.

Edward began to fidget with the edges of his frayed hoodie sleeves, his green eyes looked pained but a small sparkle in them was showing he was actually happy about something. He had become every bit the annoying seventeen year old. To think that as a vampire he was uptight and controlling and way too proper. Well, it seemed that being human again and around everyone brought out the kid in him. The teenage rebellion, the hormones and all. Esme didn't know what to do when he had his first 'no one understands me' rant. It wasn't a pretty sight to be honest.

Biting his top lip Edward just shook his head earning an elbow to the side from Seth.

“We were just looking for a sharpie. Charlotte said that we could find one in a box in the top cabinet...” Seth trailed off. “But, I don't... think its... here.”

And with that they both left the kitchen in a hurry.

“Right...” I said.

I sighed. Alone again. I thought. Maybe nobody wanted to be around me today...

After the turkey was placed into the warmer for overnight, I made myself a cup of hot chocolate because; I mean come on, its Christmas. Then I headed out into the living room and sat in from of the fireplace.

The house had gone quiet not long after I sat down here. Most all of the lights were out except for the one hall bathroom around the corner and the small lights that were donning the over-sized tree that Emmett had to have. I watched the dying flames on the logs that had been in the fireplace all day. The orange and yellow danced around the logs and you could hear the crackling of the wood. It was peaceful. I just wished I wasn't alone right now.

With my hot chocolate now gone and the fire completely out, only the soft orange glow of the ember logs left, I was just about to stand up when a creak of the old wooden floors caught my attention. Turning, I caught a wide eyed Jasper. The look on his face was almost comical.

“Hey,” he whispered.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing still up?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I guess I'm just not tired.”

Jasper took a seat next to me on the small rug in front of the fire place. Our knees were touching and he placed his left hand on my thigh. “Something wrong?”

I almost said no but instead, I gave a nod. “Just some things on my mind is all.”

“You can talk to me darlin'. You know I'm always here when you need me.”

“That's the problem.” I whispered. “You haven't been around... I just feel like I'm going to lose you or that you're going to leave and not come back. I mean, you've hardly been around this passed week.”

Jasper sighed. “Baby...” He pulled me into his lap and held my face in his hands. “I would never leave you. You don't have to worry about that at all. Leaving you would not only hurt you but it would kill me. I cant survive without you, Bella.”

“But why have you been so distant this week? It seems like the only time I get to see you is in passing and when you come to bed at night. Have I done something to upset you or.. what?” The tears were starting to form in the corners of my eyes and I was praying to whatever god there was that they wouldn't fall.

“You've done never wrong and I'm sorry you feel like you have. I didn't mean to do that to you. I just had something I needed to do.” Jasper placed a gentle kiss on my lips before speaking again. “I was going to wait until tomorrow so the family would be with us but I think now is the perfect time.”

“Perfect time for what?” I asked as Jasper pulled me to my feet and he stayed resting on one knee.

Oh god.

“Bella...” he began. “You know I'm not one for long speeches or over the top type things so just bare with me for a moment.” I nodded my head dumbly as he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “When I met you six years ago I never thought that one small person could change so many lives. But you did. You changed my brooding brother into a giddy teenager that actually smiled. You made the ice queen herself melt with your simple little compliments and gestures. You even had trust and faith in me more than I had ever felt from someone in my entire life. Only I wasn't given the opportunity to get to know you.

The night I spent with you in that hotel room when we were running from James, I meant everything I told you. You were worth the trouble of fighting a crazed vampire then and you were worth the trouble again only months ago. I got to know you that day. While you were around Edward and Alice and the family, you were the shy girl that was worried about what her boyfriend's parents would think of her. You showed me the fiercely independent and completely loving women that was hidden under the surface.

And out of all the years of training I had had. You were the one that actually got past me. The night you risked your own life to save the rest of ours, no matter if we were the soulless creatures that we were; you risked everything for us. That was also the night I knew that when or if you would become a vampire, or even a permanent member of the family, you would be more than a sister to me. You would have likely become one of my closest friends.

But then your birthday party happened because of my crazy ex-wife and an overacting Edward. We all had to leave you and I am still, to this day and until my last breath, sorry for being the cause of all that pain for you. Then you pulled your cliff diving stun and Aro gave us the chance to be human again. It was you that gave us our life back.

Something happened to me the first time Aro turned me back into a human. Nobody but Peter and Demetri know about this.” He whispered. “I heard Peter talking to me. He told me that I needed to fight through the pain and not give up. He told me that not only would I have a completely new life after it was over but that I would fall in love again. Bella, he told me that I had to go through it so I could get to you. Peter has always had a knack for just knowing stuff.” Shaking his head with a chuckle, he smiled up at me. “I fought through that pain for you Bella. I didn't know when I would ever see you again but I had faith for the first time in over a century. I believed in what Peter said was true and then that faithful day in the park.

When I saw it was you and I saw those beautiful brown eyes again, I just knew. It took six years for faith or whatever to bring us back together. We had been through a lot over these passed months and I think that it was god's weird way of proving to us that if we could make it through those troubles that nothing will break us.”

Jasper trialed off as he reached into his back pocket. His hand was kept to his side and I couldn't see what he had.

“My point in retelling all of this is that, I love you with everything I am Bella. I want you to know that for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?”

The tears fell from my eyes then and I dropped to the floor in front of Jasper. Only to throw myself at him. I was giggling like a school girl as I placed kisses all over his face. Jasper was laughing as well and trying to brush away my tears as they continued down my cheeks.

“Yes!” I shouted.

“Yeah?” he asked with that adorable smirk.

“Yes! Yes! YES!”

Jasper hugged me to him and kissed me soundly. We only broke away when we heard the bellow of Emmett saying he better not find any 'love stains' on the sofa in the morning, causing another round of laughter from the two of us when we heard the loud "OUCH!" that followed his comment.

I kissed Jasper one more time just so I could feel his lips against mine again.

“Thank you.” Jasper whispered against my lips.

I pulled back to look at him, “For what?”

“For loving me.”